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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan."

"I'VE GOT (( PROBLEMS AND A STUCK SHIFT KEY IS ONE."

"If people don't wish to discuss the cruel existential futility of all human endeavour they shouldn't say.. ...Good Morning in the first place."

"Two Texans taking a leak off the GW Bridge on a December night Man, it's cold. Yeah, deep too!"

"""Girls love illegible texts at 3:00am. Trust me."" -Alcohol"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."

"People make me sick, unless you cook them properly."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"Why was Jesus not born in Australia? Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin."

"Come on iPhone! It's someone, not semen. Now my mom thinks I'll find semen to help me. Related: I'm looking for semen to help me."