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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

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"Cash grant After helping his mom over the weekend, a boy receives a $50 bill from his mom as a reward. He goes to school on Monday and declares: ""I just got a cash Grant!"" wa..wa..waaaaaa"
"If Monday had a face, I'd punch it."
"If you think your girlfriend has a great sense of humor... try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes."
"If there's a hardship greater than putting cheese on a cracker and having it break before it gets into your mouth I've not heard of it."
"What type of car does a dinosaur drive? a priustoric!"
"How do you know you've been making too many jokes? When the wordplay becomes wordwork."
"Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic."
"There was a dyslexic devil worshipor. He sold his soul to santa"
"Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day. Harry: Why do you say he's conceited? Fred: Well every time there was a thunderclap during the storm he went to the window and took a bow."