203463

Joke of the Day

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

"give us a pickup line related to your profession WITHOUT revealing your profession. we'll try to guess I might have posted in the wrong sub Reddit. let me know if we should move it!"

"What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like? Little seizures."

"What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat!"

"So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!"

"Wife sneezed... ... and told me she was allergic to my hotness. My response: so do you break out in sex?"

"if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of ""ice, ice, baby."""

"""On this episode of 60 Minutes, we'll talk to a woman who had a baby but did not change her Facebook profile picture to a photo of it..."""

"I peeled off the sticker that said ""Don't consume alcohol while on medication."" I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

"remember when we were younger and we all thought 'bob' was a really common name but how many bobs do u actually know"