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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"

"A witticism of timely and international-political import. Knock Knock. Who's there? Crimea Crimea Who? Crimea River instantrimshot.com"

"*uses Oujia board* SMELLS LIKE UPDOG me: what's updog? NOT MUCH, DOG, JUST ABOUT TO POSSESS YOUR CAT me: what cat: what"

"I hate bikes that carry two people. I can't tandem."

"I tried telling a joke my friend from Baghdad told me. Unfortunately, Iraqed it."

"Population Control: Make birth control a psychedelic. You're welcome."

"What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ? A croaksman !"

"What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled."

"What do you get if you cross history and a cow? A moo-suem."

"How to fall down the stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 5 Step 9 Step 12 Floor."