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Joke of the Day

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark"

"Life's like a box of chocolates It don't last long for fat people."

"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"

"Q: What's green and sings? A: Elvis Parsley."

"I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry."

"What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ? Chump chops !"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ~ Will Shriner"

"Why didn't the Soviet Union send Cosmonauts to the Moon? In case they didn't want to come back."

"2 snails There were 2 snails on the back of a turtle. One of the snails turned to the other and said ""hold on."""

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite."