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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Soviet Union send Cosmonauts to the Moon? In case they didn't want to come back."

"Do you remember that programme about the surfing stuntman? It used to be good but now it's jumped the shark."

"Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask."

"TEACHER: Its report card day Timmy TIMMY: I'm scared to look. TEACHER: Don't worry. It's all B's lol *opens it & gets engulfed by bees*"

"5 Strategies to stop arguing whit your Women 1. Admit she is right 2. Admit she is right 3. admit she is right 4. admit she is right 5. run for your life"

"How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild? They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out..."

"there's a new chocolate bar being sold in the middle east called Allahu Snackbar"

"Jamaica is demanding compensation from the UK for our involvement in the slave trade! Shocking, we already paid for them once!"

"What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common? They're both tree fellers."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells for a bra? Because ""B"" shells would be too small!"