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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a flying fuck."
Next Joke
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into a microwave until it's bill withers."
"I'm not the man you'd hoped for or even the man you wanted me to be. Perhaps you should have just once seen in me, the man I am."
"My dog hunted down and killed a lizard today... You could say it was his hunting inskinkt."
"What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user? Napkin."
"The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food."
"Why do all black people have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."
"Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a ""Hobbit"" movie."
"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"
"just taught my 3yo to sing ""if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands"" and then laugh at the people clapping"