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Joke of the Day

"Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single."

"I wanted to invest in Lumber Liquidators... But wood stock hasn't been viable sincs the 60s."

"Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear."

"A person walks into a hospital wearing nothing but plastic wrap around his genitals. The front desk clerk says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog's poop."

"My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine."

"85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the ""she"" in her story is."

"A lot of people end a question with a period. Usually that question is ""Am I pregnant?"""

"What do you do if you're attacked by a bunch of Carnies? Go for the Jugular (juggler)!"

"Is there an easy way to leave a dance circle or do I have to die here?"