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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you're attacked by a bunch of Carnies? Go for the Jugular (juggler)!"

"Imagine how excruciating a conversation between Hodor, Groot, and Timmy from South Park would be."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"Why is imgur down? It was over *cat*pacity."

"Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle."

"I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit."

"What is another name for a Jewish guest? A visitorah Sorry"

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants Noel-ephants..."