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Joke of the Day

"A bathroom scale that when you stand on it just says ""Your body is but a point in space; your life, a differential of time."""

"Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper would make them sneeze."

"What does a suburban neighbourhood do if there's a blackout? They lock their doors and windows."

"Why is British weather muslim? Because when it isn't sunni, it's utter shiite"

"The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote."

"It's not gay if it's for a Klondike Bar."

"Some people are really tired after abortions... It's like they got life sucked out of them."

"How do you piss off a gay guy? Fuck his boyfriend in the ass, then wipe your dick on his curtains."

"What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant? a b-r-r-r-r-ito"

"What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair."