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Joke of the Day

"""Wow, that milk is spoiled!"" *milk drives by in a fancy car his parents bought him*"

"shaggy: hey scoob where's my burger scooby: ruh roh shaggy: great danes only live 8 years you know scooby: ruck roo"

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention We hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

"If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture only needs one nail to hang. (P.S I am Christian )"

"i prefer a girl without makeup. in fact i despise the artifice of flesh. give me a nice wailing skeleton"

"Being a penis is rough Your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an ass hole, your best friend is a pussy, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up!"

"I don't take a duece I make gold like a Lannister."

"I was having dinner with my folks when dad called me a son of a bitch. I said, ""Listen, I don't disagree--but she's sitting right THERE."""

"Rembrandt was unsurpassed in his ability to depict light and shadow in his works, until the camera came out. then he got insanely surpassed"