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Joke of the Day

"Things that are loud: Jet engines Dynamite Opening a bag of Sun Chips at a funeral Rock concerts"

"Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night."

"Never believe minotaurs... Half of everything they say is bull."

"Shit happens You know what they say: shit happens. That's why every time something bad happens, I pray for constipation."

"What does star trek and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons' s"

"*stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*"

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"The taco shop gave me napkins, don't they know I'm a professional burrito eater? That's like giving condoms to a porn star."

"When a chemist says you're gold...... ......it just means you're easily replaceable"

"What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !"