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Joke of the Day

"Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night."

Next Joke
 
"moses: watch me split the red sea in half red sea: i've got a boyfriend"
"What did one strand of yarn say to the other? I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. ""Ball up..."""
"How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with? Me: *names two of them*"
"Are Nicolas Cage movies terrible because he's in them? Or is Nicolas Cage in movies because they are terrible?"
"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are liars."
"Air & Sex - Joke Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"Q: How does a man on a moon get his haircut? A: Eclipse it."
"Donald Trump chose Mikey Pence as his vice-president... Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on? Walt Disney also could not have imagined this..."
"I wasn't happy getting A,B and C in my results today. Having three types of Hepatitis is almost unheard of."