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Joke of the Day

"Shit happens You know what they say: shit happens. That's why every time something bad happens, I pray for constipation."

"I loved going to the psychiatrist as a young girl. He said ""I think I can see the problem, Mr Smith."""

"Chuck Norris can taste lies."

"Hey guys, trust me on this one, tweets aren't nearly as funny when they're being read aloud in a courtroom."

"Dodged the bullet A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman."

"Do girls like globes without equators? I'm worried because mine is uncircumscribed."

"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"

"""How can it be global warming,"" pondered @realDonaldTrump, ""if it's cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard."""

"A chemist walks into a bar... Chemist: Do you have any Sodium Hypobromite? Bartender: NaBrO"

"9 out of 10 wives agree their husbands are always wrong and the other one just doesn't wanna talk about it right now."