21810

Joke of the Day

"Is there something about me that suggests I want to hear about your smoothie cleanse, because I can change."

"There is nothing in the world that lowers your IQ faster than trying to use someone else's coffee machine."

"[drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW] I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"

"How was the Grand Canyon created? A Jew lost a penny (incoming angry comments)"

"Croc sandals are like getting a blowjob from a dude... They feel amazing but you realize how gay you are when you look down."

"""Dad, what caused the Great Fire of London?"" [googles but can't get wifi] Well son, that's when Bach dropped the most fire mixtape of 1666"

"I'm sorry did you say your name is ned or bread"

"Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs"