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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot? He survived 99 missions."
Next Joke
"A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of slaughter So I said, ""you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."""
"11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter."
"Hear about the lazy baker who wanted a pay increase? He rarely kneeded the dough."
"Me: What do you think of my tweets? Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say? Wife: You're consistent."
"Perfect Answer by Father. A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere."
"Today I lost my viriginity to a disabled woman I just wanted it to be special."
"""Mommy all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"" ""No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."""
"How do you tell someone that they're not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?"
"What does the nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business!"