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Joke of the Day
"Baby, are you today's date? Because you're 11/10."
Next Joke
"How could you be pregnant!?!?!?!?! I bought he GOOD dollar store condoms!!!"
"How many Chernobyl survivors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already glow."
"It's impossible to stick out your tongue and roll your eyes up at the same time ...without looking like an idiot."
"Best part about marriage? NO MORE CONDOMS!!! Worst part about marriage? No more sex."
"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web developer"
"That awkward moment where you don't know if you're in a relationship or not."
"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."
"I feel sorry for my testicles. They can't even hang out without being judged."
"I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed."