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Joke of the Day

"LHC (Large Hadron Collider) When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina."

"Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is great but the atmosphere is terrible!"

"[helping a pretty girl change a flat tire] me struggling to loosen lug nuts: Who put these on... Superman? her: I did"

"Did you hear about that guy who had the entire left half of his body chopped off? He's dead now."

"A priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a horse all walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Knock Knock. Who's rhere?. 9/11. 9/11 Who? You said you would never forget."

"What did one coffin say to the other? Is that you coughin'?"

"How does a mathematician deal with constipation? The same way he deals with all his other problems. He works it out with a pencil."

"why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out? ..nobody gave a shirt."

"I got pulled over for speeding So, I really don't have the patience to type this long ass joke on my phone, but my wife's a whore."