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Joke of the Day

"I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal ""Rewards Dagger"" that gets me a discount everywhere."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Clay ! Clay who ? Clay on Sam !"

"What's the best part of being a man? You don't have to sleep next to a hairy asshole for the rest of your life."

"Current beard: Outdoor woodsman Current body: Indoor couchman"

"There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas."

"I went fishing but didn't catch any fish It was a failure."

"So two chocolate rabbits were talking to each other... ... One of them had a bite out of his butt and the other with a bite on his ears. So one rabbit says, ""My butt hurts"" and the other says ""What?"""

"I can hear my cat's stomach growling in D#... I better get him a tuna."

"Gangstas Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side? So their hats are right side up when they go to aim."

"Is it just me.... .... or were all the kids in the magic school bus show trippin balls."