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Joke of the Day
"Current beard: Outdoor woodsman Current body: Indoor couchman"
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"What do you call a blind German? A nat-zee"
"For some reason, the Disney movie ""101 Dalmatians"" was much more popular than it's sequel ""Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."""
"Showerthought: We should make an online dating site called eBae."
"My dentist says to clean between your teeth after every meal. That's his flossophy."
"""It's pronounced Jeff"" ""Whatever you say, Goff"""
"You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word."
"My Favorite Joke as a Kid. ""What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?"" The Taste!"
"[to astronaut brother] Ooooh la la Gary's going to SPACE *does jerkoff motion* I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & tv won't FLOAT AWAY"
"I will read my horoscope from as many different sources as I need to until I find the one I like"