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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to a girl last night ... She was quite fat, but she had huuuuge tits. ""My eyes are up here"", I had to say, because she kept staring at the hamburger in my hand."

Next Joke
 
"Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game? Its in case he gets a hole-in-one."
"I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, ""You can't do that when you're already here."" Is that true you guys?"
"I can't Colbert it, they were the Stewartship of my news and entertainment."
"I saw an Asian man jerking off in a starbucks Called him a Fappenchino."
"So a pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""You look so annoyed!"". The pirate points down and says ""Yargh - I have a steering wheel at the end of my penis. It's drivin' me nuts!"""
"I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want"
"A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp."
"My dad used to wash my mouth out with soap... But that was just to get rid of the DNA evidence."
"I just don't understand pedophiles, kids are SO annoying."