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Joke of the Day

"My dad used to wash my mouth out with soap... But that was just to get rid of the DNA evidence."

"I'm no longer with a girl because she lied about her weight. She died in a bungee jumping accident."

"Lately I've been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me"

"Why did the cancer patient get smacked? His hand was bigger than his face."

"Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?"

"I asked my buddy if he wanted me to feed his dog real quick before we left He said back to me, ""Nah, fuck it."" I don't know why he tried kicking my ass, I was just doing what he said."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. On my penis."

"What do you call a tribal poet? Shake-A-Spear!"

"I don't care if a human is male or female, Black or white, European, American, or Asian, they all taste the same."

"What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milkshake!"