181975

Joke of the Day

"I just don't understand pedophiles, kids are SO annoying."

"I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them"

"Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes SIR!"

"I set my Tinder location to Flint, Michigan. Those girls are probably hella thirsty..."

"Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts! Yup ya walked right into that one"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that can extrapolate information"

"Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving"

"Dad shouts: ""Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"" Son: ""Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"""

"All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed"

"If at first you don't succeed.. Then that's it for skydiving."