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Joke of the Day

"My brother won a TV quiz show by bribing the guy who sets the questions. He's a criminal mastermind."

"One-One was a race horse, Two-Two was one too One-One won one race and Two-Two's leg was broken and he had to get euthanized."

"My wife just asked me why she came home to find marinara sauce all over our sleeping baby's head. Sorry babe, I'M NOT A DETECTIVE."

"Masturbation isn't illegal ...but I'm sure if it was, people would take the law into their own hands."

"I saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other this morning. Gives me hope for the future. Or at least another Rush Hour movie"

"Why were all the rednecks sitting around an ordinary potato waiting for it to talk? It was a CommonTater I just made this up I swear"

"Why Did Donald Trump Get Fired When He Was a Carpenter? He wouldn't take down any walls."

"Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I'm having lunch behind the couch."

"End Jokes/Quotes from the tv series QI - Season 1 Short quotes and jokes by Stephen Fry at the end of each episode of the show."

"When someone's all, ""Words cannot begin to describe ..."" I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY."