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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about abortion is.. The best thing about abortion is that it brings out the kid in you."

"How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!"

"You can't joke with a kleptomaniac... They take everything, literally."

"If Joan Rivers rises from the ashes.... Will she be Rivers Phoenix?"

".@WebMD Should blood basically be cascading out of my nose when I look at the sun ?"

"What does your mother's face and a Pillar and have in common? They're both load-bearing"

"I've really got to stop being so anti-semitic... or else I'm going to get audited soon"

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."

"What's up in the sky, oh so high? A baby falling out of an airplane."

"Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway."