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Joke of the Day
"You can't joke with a kleptomaniac... They take everything, literally."
Next Joke
"What I lack in imagination I make up for in....stuff."
"Life seems to be like a pushy boyfriend Because even when I'm not in the mood I still seem to get fucked by it"
"A lawyer is offered two cases... He can either defend a rapist or defend a burglar. He says: ""I'll defend the rapist, I love when people get fucked."""
"Don't make fun of a fat man with a lisp. He is probably thick and tired of it"
"What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'? River Derci. Sorry."
"I'm gonna make a alternate account so I can catfish myself. I know what I like so I may fall for it"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa. Not yelling and screaming, like the people in his car"
"At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open."
"The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it..."