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Joke of the Day
"What does your mother's face and a Pillar and have in common? They're both load-bearing"
Next Joke
"Me: I snuck in my own candy and a drink Her: This is a funeral home Me: Without a snack bar"
"A gentleman is . . . ...a man who gets out of the shower to take a pee"
"She promised to teach me wax on, wax off. Only now my chest is bare, I'm frightened of candles, and pretty sure I still don't know karate."
"What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand? Respiridol"
"""Shrooms before brooms,"" I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room."
"A chinese father tells his 7 year old son he's adopted His son replies: it's ok daddy I learned this in school already! 2 wongs don't make a white."
"""I Wish I Had Her Skin!"" - Teenage Girls & Serial Killers"
"Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting"
"Did you hear about the cookie that was litterally made of nothing but grass and dirt? it was a real tuft cookie"