122975

Joke of the Day

"I'm not one to brag about my Press exposure but yes, it's true what they're saying in my local paper. I am selling my couch"

"Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom."

"once I asked my dad if we could plant a bread tree in the yard & later that night I overheard him & my mom talking about ""sending me back"""

"What do Coors Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both too fucking close to water."

"*gives date flowers* Here. I murdered these plants for you."

"Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" isn't the right answer."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... It could happen"

"What happens when you get a lot of electroshocks within a short period of time? It hertz."

"Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant."

"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""