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Joke of the Day

"My dentist says to clean between your teeth after every meal. That's his flossophy."

"Why did the pedophile move to Korea? Because there, Too Young is just a name."

"I think having an abortion really brings out the kid in me"

"If your car is too heavy You can always use lighter fuel."

"When I was younger, I thought I had a Chinese friend. But it was just my imaginasian."

"April showers bring May flowers, but do you know what May flowers brings? Pilgrims."

"The mean Apple Store manager He's a real apphole."

"4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That'd be terrible for you. 4: Mom's not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*"

"Ancient astronomers were studying the movement of the moon around the Earth After doing it for 24 hours they got tired of it and decided to call it a day."

"[demetri martin] A drunk driver is very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. ""Go left."" -""Dude those are trees."" ""trust me."""