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Joke of the Day

"What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people? Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!"

"What was the title of the soundtrack to 'The Inconvenient Truth'? Al Gore Rhythms"

"Took me forever to find this chronology book. It's about time."

"Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like ""Abso-fruit-ly!"" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know"

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."""

"I want to see a documentary about Morgan Freeman that is narrated by wild animals."

"mom, pull over imma bout to throw up... West side california!! wit uppppp"

"[Bar] ""What'll you have"" Scotch ""You want it neat"" No thanks *bartender throws some crumbs and hair in my whisky* Thanks"

"Why did Helen Kellers kid commit suicide You would also if your name was Hughhhawahfluh Keller"

"My boyfriend is like an iPhone 7 Just jacks off"