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Joke of the Day

"A nose walks into a bar The bartender said ""I can't serve you, you are already off your face"

"Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears."

"Every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. We need to stop this woman."

"In India, you don't drive on the left of the road.. you drive on what is left on the road."

"What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold? An Illumi-neti pot"

"How did Portland, Oregon protest Trump's wall? They blocked streets with a human wall"

"What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black."

"If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself."

"If I had known ""cuties"" were little oranges when my wife asked me to ""bring a few home,"" I could have avoided these awkward introductions."

"When I was young, at bedtimes... My mum used to tell me fairy stories with a happy ending. Just one of the benefits of having a masseuse as a parent I guess."