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Joke of the Day

"I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game ""Risk"" from local retailers. When they eventually catch me, I'll say ""Life is all about taking Risks."""

"What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears? The Tchernobyl cowboy."

"My Bucket List * ~~Five gallon bucket~~ * ~~Mop bucket~~ * Bucket hat"

"The year is 2087. Selfies are the new currency now and that annoying girl you went to high school with is the richest person in the world."

"My best mate is entering the X-Factor this year and I wanted to give him all the help and support I can. So I killed his mum."

"At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it."

"I'm anti-thesaurus, for lack of a better word."

"From my 7yo: ""Why did the moon marry the sun?"" Because the sun is hott."

"An old dood told me this joke Whats pink and wet, and smells like pussy? Then he does [this](http://giphy.com/gifs/tongue-cody-simpson-dAKdA1l0GETVS) I love old people"

"An English teacher tells a knock knock joke Teacher: Knock Knock Student: Who's there? Teacher: To Student: To who? Teacher: To *whom*"