217755
Joke of the Day
"My friend is a midget... I hold it over her head literally all the time."
Next Joke
"Who should of gotten asphalt? Cleopatra."
"Dear ugly people, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol"
"I hate being a depressed atheist. Nothing to live for. Nothing to die for."
"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"
"Taught my grandmother that ""Jabroni"" means ""fine young man"" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting."
"Symptoms of mental illness: -Hearing voices -Hallucinating -Complaining about how other people use their social media accounts"
"What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos."
"A man with a wooden leg marries a woman with a wooden eye on their honeymoon she asks him if he wants to fool around. He replies, would I! she spits out peg leg"
"When a cashier thanks you for your purchase, unsettle them by looking deep in their eyes and softly saying, ""Anything for a friend."""