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Joke of the Day

"God is obviously a Civil Engineer... ... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground."

"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"

"Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know"

"Like most men, I have two personalities... the guy before the orgasm and the one after."

"How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve..."

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"Have you seen the new film called Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"I just thought of this masterpiece... No. No, I didn't because nobody here is ever original."

"There's nothing more difficult than trying to convince a narcissist that you don't like them."

"How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer."