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Joke of the Day

"Like most men, I have two personalities... the guy before the orgasm and the one after."

"A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German."

"""I definitely have the biggest penis in this room,"" I announced drunkenly at the party. Slightly ruined my son's 13th."

"On what day of every week do soft drinks sell the most? thursday"

"I am a Chinese, and this is what I think about Chinese joke: Hao funny. (Hao means """", which can mean yes, good or very)"

"My Aunt Maud had so many candles on her last birthday cake that all her party guests got sunburnt !"

"What kind of food do zombies hate? Fast food"

"What's the difference between a car tire and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear... and one's a *great* year."

"Did you hear that Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 and a half years? But he was happy with it cause it was under 18."

"I can't find the thing that I fuck every day, so I asked the kids.... Apparently the dog died two days ago."