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Joke of the Day

"[First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?"

"Pedophiles like their wine like they like their girls 9 years old and locked up in the basement"

"""No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 18. ""No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 28."

"What type of pussy does a priest get? nun"

"Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?"

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"drugs lead to nowhere....but at least its the scenic route"

"Friendly like talking"

"Leading cause of automobile accidents I bet the leading cause of automobile accidents for bodybuilders is flexing while driving..."

"I got fired from my job at the pasta factory after a fusilli mistakes."