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Joke of the Day

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"What do you call a violent Buddhist? A Zero."

"I can hear my cat's stomach growling in D#... I better get him a tuna."

"What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest? One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor."

"If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome.."

"What did the alcoholic 7 get diagnosed with? Heptatitis"

"ELF COP: You have the right to remain splendiferous! Anything you say will be wonderful-funderful! You CRIMINAL: Pls just take me to jail"

"If your name is Paul... (If you beat somebody in any way). Are you a flower? CAUSE YOU JUST GOT PAULINATED!"

"Where did the sick boat go? To the dock."

"What do you call a liver transplant? A delivery."