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Joke of the Day

"I hate ingrown hairs... They really get under my skin"

"Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant-aloupe"

"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming."

"Friday!!! I'm so glad you are back. I'm sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time."

"Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres"

"Did you hear about the Quasimodo look alike contest? The police had to break it up when the crowd turned ugly."

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

"Make a horror film less scary by putting old timey words in the title, i.e. The Thingamabob, Jason Goes To Heck or The Hills Have Peepers."

"What small plant is used in war? The millitree."

"Women would be better serial killers if they didn't smile when people mention someone's been missing"