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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man tell his mom to get him out of prison? She had gotten him out of a tight spot before."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them."

"What do you call poor pasta? Spaghetto."

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."

"How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor."

"Life Pro Tip: Putting your phone in airplane mode will stop ads while you play."

"Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh."

"Why was the germiphobe scared of coins? Because he was afraid of change."

"I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom"

"What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser? Resisting a rest."