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Joke of the Day

"Drug test Employer- we need to take your drug test to see if there are any drugs in your urine Employee- I'll pass, you won't check my nose right?"

"*Lowers thermostat* *Dad puts it back* *Lowers thermostat again* *Dad puts it back again* The real Cold War"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Cold."

"My jokes are so dark Whenever i use it it starts picking cotton."

"You know what you call a marine with an IQ of 160 A platoon."

"What do you call 1000 aches? A *kilohurtz*."

"Timothy's mom has three children. The first one's name is April. The second one's name is June. What is the third child's name? Timothy."

"Opportunity knocks once, however temptation likes to lean on the door bell."

"Two birds are sitting on a perch. One bird says to the other, ""Do you smell fish?"""

"Ok America. You've made us chuckle with this whole Trump 2016 thing. But if we see Kanye 2020 happen... No. More. SYRUP. Love, Canada"