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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I ate your baby but you shouldn't have wrapped it like a burrito."
Next Joke
"Recently discovered that my local coffee house sells my favorite soup... MISO HAPPY! :D"
"Diagnose Doctor: Well, those results look bad... Patient: How bad are they? Doctor: It depends, how old are you? Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't."
"[at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom"
"Did you hear about the pirate captain selling cheap corn? It was a buccaneer."
"My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI."
"what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person"
"What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend? His smellular phone!"
"I eat my poo joke Knock knock...Who's there? I eat mop...I eat mop who?"
"I met a geologist the other day He seemed gneiss."