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Joke of the Day
"Two fish in a tank. [x-post from r/Jokes] One asks: How do you drive this thing?"
Next Joke
"Pilots sure do like dick holes... Sorry, im just testing out my new thesaurus"
"My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary's ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."
"Her: See ya later alligator! Me: *slithers into swamp*"
"The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us"
"The problem w marriage is communication. When I said I hoped he'd go down in a plane I meant more crash & burn, less on the flight attendant"
"I left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting... I wonder what she's up to now."
"Hiphop cereal idea: Ludacrisp"
"Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix."