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Joke of the Day

"There's no use crying over spilled milk. Unless you crashed your milk truck and spilled it all over the freeway, killing a family."

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"Advice from a 6 year old patient: ""You should wear your stethoscope everywhere...girls will really like you. You look smart"""
"Just got my wife a matching bag and belt set for her birthday. Let's hope the vacuum cleaner works better now."
"I'll give you $10 if you divide it by a half and give it back..."
"Never forget 9 November 9/11 was truly a horrible day for the USA."
"I have to say to you something... something."
"How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? ""How many do you think it takes?"""
"My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up."
"[Bruce Willis on his deathbed] Bruce: Viagra! Dr: Bruce this isn't the time- Bruce: Give me...a Viagra! Dr: Ok *Bruce Dies...Hard*"
"You're either a dog person or a non person."