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Joke of the Day

"I'll give you $10 if you divide it by a half and give it back..."

"A teen walks into a girl scout meeting. They're learning how to tie different types of knots. The girl says ""Can I join you?"" They reply ""Can you knot?"""

"We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday, for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Michael""."

"What do you call a large predatory bird with poor social skills? Hawkward"

"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"If I had but one life to give for my country it would be a lawyer's."

"What is orange and sounds like a carrot A carrot"

"Why didn't the proctologist show up for work? He had two cars, but he rectum both."

"I can type 600 words per minute but none of them makes any sense"