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Joke of the Day

"This nation really has gotten lazy, what with buying pre-shredded cheese and all. I think it's time to make America grate again."

"James Franco is making a movie about lesbian vampires. I'm betting it'll be a period piece."

"Relationships are a lot like Algebra... ...have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"What's a rabbits' favorite book? Hop on Pop."

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you."

"Shut up laundry.Nobody wants to do you."

"Hawaiians were never known to be cannibals. Maybe a nibble here and there... You know, finger food."

"If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"