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Joke of the Day

"I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you."

"I asked my mom where she went to get groceries and if she would tell me if anyone died in game of thrones. She said... Jons, no"

"Dentist: ""When was the last time you flossed?"" Me: ""BRO, you were there."""

"Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider."

"What is a teenage girl's best friend? Passive-Aggression"

"Why does the spanish dude keep walking left? Because izquierda going right."

"""I forgot my phone, so what do u want to talk about?"" ... *knocks on stall wall* ""Hello? Can u hear me?"" ... ""I like your shoes...Hello?"" .."

"Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!"

"Why does the boy could not bend his knees? because he had no knees"

"Damn baby You drive me #4011."