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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry."

"Q: Why don't blind people skydive more often? A: It scares the hell out of their dogs."

"What does Monica and Hillary have in common? They don't fuck Bill anymore."

"Are you African? [NSFW] Because you are a frican bitch. Zing~!"

"My dad almost caught me watching midget porn. Thankfully I put my finger on the screen in time."

"My 10 yr old thinks I expect too much out of her. I told her we could discuss it when she gets home from work."

"What do you call when a female physicist decides to try dating women for a change? The double slit experiment."

"Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife? Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her"

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? *Christopher Walken*"

"What does Pokemon Go and sex have in common? They're not for kids."