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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? *Christopher Walken*"

"[confessional] me: father, gooey naan. father: what's gooey naan? me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?"

"Who is the Prime Minister of Israol? Netanyahoo"

"Why shouldn't you have sex with Linux users? Open sores."

"Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear. Also sorry for the shoddy manscaping."

"So I've been studying up on clams lately I want to take up boxing, and I heard part of training is mussel memory."

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles."

"99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky; it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire."

"What does a 9-Volt battery and an asshole have in common? If you lick it, and nothing happens, you know its dead."