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Joke of the Day

"Me flirting at a party me: so what's your major her: radiology me: oh cool AM or FM?"

"I want to hire a Chipotle employee to tuck me in at night."

"Have you ever smelt moth balls before? Isn't it hard to pull their little legs apart?"

"Where do Muslims go on a weekend? To Mecca Bingo."

"Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget there are people having real fights on the internet."

"My Uncle Bill was a terrible door to door salesman. He never once was able to get one door to buy another."

"I made a gaffe about birth complications Well, that came out wrong."

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."

"My girlfriend said she didn't fart but she's talking out her ass"

"Let's pause this conversation until your Transition Lenses catch up."