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Joke of the Day

"My dog won't stop playing the piano I guess you can say she... Won't stop Bach-ing"

"If your partner asks, ""Do you love your phone more than you love me?"" Lie."

"My girlfriend is really loud during sex. I don't know why, she knows nobody is coming to help her."

"From a very early age, I used to feel like a guy trapped in a woman's body... ...then I was born."

"Where do the happy people of Baltimore live? In a merry land."

"What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!"

"Whoever said ""money doesn't grow on trees"" has obviously never sold weed."

"I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

"A Jewish boy walks up to his dad... A Jewish boy walks up to his dad and says ""hey dad! Can I borrow fifty dollars? His dad says ""forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?"