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Joke of the Day

"How do pianists remember which groceries to buy? They use a Chopin Liszt!"

"An apple a day... Keeps the non-binary away"

"pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.."

"Comcast opens an airline. The airplane only goes full speed to certain, partner airports and if the airplane flies further than expected, you're charged per mile."

"How do you catch a bear? First, dig a large bear-sized hole. Then, burn up some paper and fill the hole with ash. Lastly, kick the bear in the ash-hole."

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes? I'm walkin' here!"

"My dad has a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes. He calls it my birth certificate."

"I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket"

"Only my husband would walk up to my gynecologist in Costco, point at me, give him the two thumbs up while grinning and say, 'Nice one, huh?'"